I realized I was too busy when I tried to tell Terry that his name wasn't Terri.

First, the story.  We were finally on the road headed to Colorado for two weddings in two days.  My cell phone rang, but I missed the call while trying to pull the phone out of my purse. I glanced at the caller ID and it said it was from "Terry".  Terri is my sister, so I hit redial. A man answered. I was startled, and said "Terri?" He said "Yes." I said "You're not Terri!" He said "Yes I AM!" I said "NO, YOU'RE NOT!" By this time my son and husband were laughing uproariously and it was beginning to dawn on me that I just might be wrong. 

He told me his full name, and I realized that he was, indeed, Terry, but not my sister.  He then thoroughly scolded me for something I had promised to do but not yet completed. I deserved the scolding, even though we hadn't set a date. It was a simple task and his organization was waiting on me before they could move forward with their project, and they had been waiting too long. I was just too busy with work, giving a wedding shower, hosting company over a college graduation weekend, attending and helping with graduation receptions, and all the other business of life .

About this time my sister Terri had bought me a set of paper napkins with a cartoon of a well-dressed, eager-looking lady with her hand in the air.  She was saying "Pick me, I can do it, let me organize that!"  The caption at the bottom read "Behold the power of caffeine."  My husband Jim has been teasing me since then when I mention any plans--"how much caffeine did you have?" 

I took stock of my life: President of the local affiliate of NAMI - the National Alliance on Mental Illness. This meant I planned monthly meetings, sent and forwarded many emails, found speakers, was listed on a web site--so I fielded phone calls a couple of times a week from people looking for help for themselves or their relatives, and all the other duties that went along with that job. I was also co-treasurer. Only one other officer actually had email and was an active participant with helping run the affiliate.

Board member of a local non-profit behavioral health agency, which involved once-a-month 2-hr. meetings, and a little bit of work outside the meetings reviewing materials, answering e-mails, or attending events, usually on a weekend, a few times a year.

Served as a Stakeholder member at a quarterly meeting with the administration agency of the state mental health insurance company, helping serve as the voice of the public. (Once you begin working with one agency, the others begin sucking you in....)

Church volunteer, helping with two activities; greeting for an hour at the monthly women's ministries meeting, and helping manage the Money Ministry program for my Sabbath School class, which takes a little time each week.

On top of all that I work full time, have family and friends in town that I enjoy spending time with, attend a weight loss support group every other week (or try to), try to get to the gym to work out--failing miserably there right now, have a husband, pets, a home in need of attention, a yard and garden, and would love to have some time for hobbies--reading, gardening, quilting and travel, for starters. I also have friends and family out of town that I wish I had more time to stay in better contact with as well.

I recognize that I am richly, richly blessed to have such a full life. My overburdened life is my own doing.  And that's why I'm changing all that. If I did it I can undo it. So I announced shortly after that Terry scolding that I would step down from my leadership role in NAMI (it had been 3 years after all) after officer elections in August.  They deserve better than I was able to give them. I thought about resigning from other activities, and I may yet, but so far I haven't.  NAMI was by far the biggest time investment. 

It took some wheedling, begging and cajoling, but NAMI has had a new president for a month now and I breathed a sigh of relief. I asked that my name be taken off the website, and handed over the files to the new president. Two weeks later the phone calls started--some people weren't happy with his leadership. He was changing too much too fast. I had to come back, they said. He was causing dissension, the organization would fall apart if I didn't come help work out problems at the next meeting. He was insulting people, they said. Reluctantly I agreed to at least attend the September meeting, last night. The new president asked me to be a Board Member. I hemmed and hawwed, but I managed to say no! But I did agree to help with a small fund-raising project for a new laptop. At least that's a finite project. And the meeting went smoothly--not much of the threatened dissension; but there was a little. Everyone struggles with change, even members of volunteer organizations, it would appear.

But my name is still out there.  On Tuesday I had a desperate email from someone who had run out of medicine and insurance and was in a manic state. That was the day I was headed to the airport with my son, but of course I had to react--luckily help was one email away. After 3 years I knew who to call, so I didn't wait for the new president, though I filled him in later. Then yesterday there was another phone message asking about support groups - that one I'll pass on to the new president. Today my cell phone rang.  My cell phone has never been on the web site, so I'm not sure how this person got the number, but it was someone from the Regional Center who needed an advocate for a complicated legal case. I gave this person a contact name and number and promised to do a little more research. I shouldn't have had that cappucino for breakfast!

Now I'm moving on to check the NAMI website to ensure my name is off their web site. AHHHRRGG--it's still my name!

Change is more difficult than I thought. I decided. I announced. I planned. I took action. And now I'm having to react as people and events keep trying to pull me back. Sometimes I feel like I'm wading through molasses, trying to make progress in my life.

My top goal is to work on my exercise and fitness because if I can improve those, I will have more energy for everything else. And maybe keep my mind clear enough to not argue with people about their own names.

Thanks for your comments - let's hear what you're changing in your life right now.